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When you start to rise when your business grows, your voice gets louder, your platform gets bigger, people notice.
And not just the good ones.
The vultures show up, too.
The energy vampires.
The ones who clap loudest in public and pick you clean in private.
Suddenly, your inbox is full.
Your calendar’s overrun.
Everyone’s got a pitch, an ask, a “quick favor "but few seem to ask, “What do you need?”
Let me be clear: not everyone is out for blood.
But as a leader, you must sharpen your discernment.
Because not every opportunity is aligned.
Not every relationship is reciprocal.
And not every “collaboration” is rooted in trust.
Lately, I’ve felt this more than ever.
I've been bombarded with people who want advice some genuinely curious, others just taking notes.
They want to “see how I do it.”
Peek behind the curtain.
Pick my brain.
And once they get what they came for? The interest fades. The energy shifts. The reciprocity never shows up.
That’s when you realize: some people aren’t building with you. They’re just borrowing from you.
So how do you tell the difference?
I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) to ask myself three questions:
- Does this relationship go both ways?
Am I the only one pouring in? Or do they show up for me, too when there’s nothing in it for them? - Is this rooted in values or visibility?
Do we align on principles, or am I just a steppingstone to their next thing? - Do I feel energized or depleted?
Trust your body. If you consistently walk away feeling drained, you probably just got bit.
For CEOs, founders, and operators this is part of the territory.
When you build something great, people will come.
Some to cheer you on.
Some to hitch a ride.
Some to see how much they can get before you catch on.
It doesn’t mean you close off. It means you get wise.
Build a circle of people who get it not just your goals, but your values, your limits, your mission.
And when you find people who care about the relationship more than the transaction?
Hold them close.
They’re rare.
Because in a world full of takers, reciprocity is a radical act of leadership AND character.
Those people are out there. Karma is good but leaves a bit to the wind. Be intentional in your pursuits and with those you share your time. It becomes more precious as the clock ticks.
